Chances are the image is still burned into your brain—a middle-aged man tearing his shirt off in a fit of unprovoked rage, each artery in his body bulging to its bursting point. In all likelihood, his words are still echoing through your eardrums—“YOU SEE THAAAAT! That’s a dude that’s been to heaven, b*tch! You want to test God, you f—king come get it, sh*tstack!” In 2023, we were granted a front-row seat to the greatest golf meltdown of all time and nothing—not even a hammered Canadian getting thrown into a lake by an ex-NHL enforcer—has topped it since.
Like any smash-hit blockbuster, however, a sequel to golf’s most iconic rant was a matter of if, not when, and as it turns out, that when is today.
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This week, the unnamed Ohio man allegedly turned up at Spanish Bay and wasted no time turning Monterey’s serene golf utopia into his own personal padded cell. It all started when a local looper, Cutter the Caddie, heard from a father-son duo who had been paired with the “human wrecking ball.” Golf’s answer to the Bagel Boss was, in their words, “insane” and smoked a total five joints throughout the round. A day or two later, a bag attendant at the same club told the caddie there was a “psychopath” on the course, and shared his bizarre encounter with the interloper. As you’ve probably already guessed, it was the man, the myth, the legend himself.
That was just the beginning though. More reports about God’s angriest emissary soon came pouring in. Allegedly he joined a threesome toward the end of the day, inhaled enough narcotics to take down a bull elephant and then crashed out on the 12th hole, ripping his shirt off (apparently his signature move) while accusing his playing partners of stealing his ball. Ladies and gentleman, we are pleased present the world premiere of ‘Sh*stack II: Heaven’s Revenge.’
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The good news is this guy—referred to as “John” in the video—seems to have done some work on himself. Yes, the top comes off, but there’s less cursing, no visible pulsing forehead vein and no mention of any violent mission from God. These are really good signs. Of course, the irony is he’s angry in this video because a fellow golfer allegedly “stole” his ball, which is exactly what he did in 2023 to spark his first viral altercation. John, buddy, maybe you should be looking at more than just your muscles in the mirror.
Anyway, apparently there’s more footage where this came from, so we’ll keep you updated as soon as it hits our desk. In the meantime, remember to speak softly and carry a big stick when on the course, because you never know who you might bump into …
